I love you but I don't want you

I sometimes hate being a creative; I hate being called a writer, hate writing but guess what? We’ll write how much we hate writing, nothing more and nothing less. We write about how we feel, when we’re hurting or whenever we’re inches from touching the moon.

The pecks of being a writer is that we hardly go out, we hardly have a decent conversation with people that also includes the people we are devoted to. Most of the times I wish I had a fluent conversation with someone, asked how they are keeping up with life, their plans for the future or what they strive to become in the next couple of years but that’s not easy when you’re a writer. Hate the fact that I find it hard to talk to people unless I’ve known them for quite some time, if we’ve cracked a few jokes to melt down the ice that was between us when we were strangers. If the ice is still there, we just look at you awkwardly or laugh at all your jokes and pretend we know what you’re talking about. Then when you leave... right when you leave we meditate on what we should’ve said to you, if we should’ve complimented your hair and adored your beautiful eyes, if we loved your company or not.

Being a writer or being called a writer is fun but in reality it is lonely, we are lonely people that wish had more conversations with people but when we get the chance to have that decent conversation we hate it with a passion. We wish they had left us alone and when they do we wish they were closer, we’re a bunch of indecisive idiots that don’t know what they want! We want you but we can’t have you! We need you but we don’t want you... we’re just confused ourselves.

A few people truly understand us, come to think that people think we talk a lot judging from our chats from social media, I’ll crack you up... but please don’t come near my space you’ll be disappointed in what you’ll find. You’ll find nothing, just a hollow room.

Watching people we love leave us for the mere fact that we don’t talk as much, seeing them laugh harder when they are with random company and seem so lost when they are spending time with us. Questions like “Do they want to leave?” “Am I a bore?” constantly arise. We try by all means to fit it but our personality holds us to the wall and whispers “Shut the bleep up and WRITE!”

#Love #Hate #Writer